Aurora: Ship of Dreams
by Katrina1
Summary: A majestic ship, a timeless fairytale, and a setting that will bring two lovers together.


Aurora: Ship of Dreams  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Part 1)   
  
The Assistant Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Walter S. Skinner, sighed heavily as he leant back in his expensive chair. He took a deep breath, the sharp odour of cigarette smoke lingering in his otherwise fresh-aired office filling his lungs. He forced himself to hold back a cough, as he glared at the man in the chair on the other side of his huge mahogany desk.   
  
The other man took another deep puff on his cigarette, obvious to his friend's laboured breathing, but yet not caring enough to stub it out just to spare his friend's health. Or maybe 'friend' wasn't the right word, he mused, as he leaned back with a content smile on his lips. He liked to use that term however, even though he was quite sure that the Assistant Director didn't count him as a friend.  
  
"So, Mr. Skinner..." he said, "we have an agreement, then."  
  
It wasn't a question. "Do I have a choice?" the Assistant Director asked, his countenance set in a grim yet defiant expression.   
  
"We all make our own choices, Mr. Skinner" the man in front of him answered. "I'd strongly suggest that you follow my advise in this matter, though. But of course, if you want to deal with the consequences..." he trailed off, watching the other man grow angrier.   
  
"Is that a threat?" the Assistant Director asked, his gaze firm and unflinching.  
  
"See it as a suggestion... from a friend", the other man said, a smug smile playing at the corners of his mouth.   
  
"I've never asked for your friendship", the Assistant Director said dryly. "Let's go through this one more time: you want me to shut down the X-Files and let Agent Mulder take an absence of leave for an unlimited amount of time, am I correct?"  
  
"Agent Mulder", the other man said, taking a last puff on his cigarette before placing the butt at the top of the pile he'd created in the ash-tray, "has become too dangerous. He's a threat to us, and therefor, some forces want to see him eliminated. Of course, that measure will not be necessary if he quits his quest." He raised his eyebrows, nodding. "Isn't it friendly of me to tell you that?"  
  
"I've never asked for your friendship", Skinner repeated, his voice colder than ice.  
  
Still smiling, the other man stood up to take his leave. "Oh, you will, Mr. Skinner", he said, before he started to walk towards the door. Before opening it, he turned around to face the Assistant Director once more. "I almost forgot... happy birthday!" he said, and in the next instant he was gone.  
  
Walter Skinner didn't move a single muscle in his countenance, as he continued to stare at the door several minutes after the other man had left.   
  
*~* Two weeks later *~*   
  
(part 2)  
  
"Aurora", Special Agent Fox Mulder read aloud as he let his eyes take in the appearance of the huge ship in front of them. "Also called 'The Ship of Dreams'. How... *romantic*", he said sarcastically, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he started to walk towards the entrance of the ship.  
  
"Mulder", a firm voice beside him said, and he felt the light pressure of a hand on his lower arm, forcing him to stop. He turned around, finding himself face to face with his partner, Special Agent Dana Scully. His gaze was immediately drawn to her blue, serious yet warm eyes, staring up at him. "Mulder, why are you so suspicious?" she asked him.   
  
"Rather safe than sorry", he answered shortly, turning around to go again.  
  
"Mulder!" she said, her voice clearly indicating that she did not tolerate that answer. He turned around once again, feeling her grip on his jacket loosen.  
  
"Listen, Skinner is celebrating his 50th birthday by taking the whole Bureau on a trip across the Atlantic and back with this top-modern ship, including a two day's stay in Lisbon. But all you do is thinking that it's some damn conspiracy again, that they're going to bury the X-Files while you're gone. For God's sake, Mulder, if not for anything else, you could need this vacation, more than anybody. This isn't something that happens every day!" She softened a little, smiling at him. "Would you promise me that you'll at least make the most out of the situation? That you'll at least *try* to have some fun?"  
  
He relaxed a bit at the softening of her features, and even dared to give her a tiny smile in a return. He was still a bit suspicious about the whole trip though, and more than anything, he certainly didn't look forward to spend the nearest days surrounded by snobby agents. Unlike his partner, he'd never been too fond of the sea either. Still, in the middle of all the things he'd rather avoid, there was Scully. His solid cliff that never budged from his side, his link back to earth whenever his theories were too much out in the blue. His best friend. If not for anything else, he looked forward to spend the nearest days together with her, he had to admit.   
  
"I'm sorry, Scully", he said, shrugging. "I admit, I *am* paranoid, but I shouldn't let it get out over you. I'm sorry." He offered he an apologetic smile, and she accepted it, smiling back at him.   
  
She squeezed his fingers lightly. "It's okay, Mulder", she said. "Let's border the ship now, shall we?"   
  
"After you", Mulder said, gesturing with his arm. Scully flashed him another smile, before stepping onto the gangway. Looking down on the ground one last time, Mulder then followed her.   
  
*~*   
  
(part 3)  
  
They were greeted by Skinner as they stepped inside the ship. He was talking to some of the personnel of the ship's kitchen at the same time as he tried to have a word with everybody who arrived. He looked somewhat stressed, but his expression brightened a little when he saw Mulder and Scully.  
  
"Agents Mulder, Scully", he nodded to them. "I'm glad you could make it!" His eyes lingered on Mulder for just a brief second, and Mulder knew exactly why; Skinner had had a hard, to say the least, time to talk him into joining them on the trip, and the invitation had *almost* been turned into an order before Mulder reluctantly had accepted it. One of the personnel stepped forward to them.   
  
"Mulder and Scully? May I take your luggage? If you please come with me, I'll show you to your cabins." They nodded to Skinner, then followed the man down the hall. They walked down a staircase, before they came to another corridor; the cabins' department.  
  
"Here's the women's cabins", the man announced, pointing at the corridor to their right, before turning to Mulder. "Will you wait here, Sir? I'll just show Agent Scully to her cabin."  
  
"Sure", Mulder said, offering him a smile. "See you on deck, Scully", he said at her.   
  
She was already several feet down the corridor, but she turned around and waved at him as he called, before she disappeared around a corner. Mulder leaned back against the wall, waiting for the servant to come back. The image of her, turning around, her fiery red hair brushing over her cheek, lingered before his eyes, causing his heart to beat harder. Or was it just his imagination?  
  
*~*  
  
(part 4)   
  
She caught sight of him as soon as she stepped through the open door to the deck. His tall, lanky body was leaning against the rail a few metres away, the wind ruffling his dark hair. She was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to do the same thing with her hands, feeling his soft hair beneath her fingers... She mentally shook herself, and took a few deep breaths to steady herself before she dared to trust herself enough to approach him.   
  
He rather sensed, than heard her presence. Turning around to greet her, he suddenly found his face close to hers; merely inches of air separated them. *Far* too close. Both of them hastily took a step back, to a safer space, and Mulder could've sworn that during no longer than a millisecond, a crimson colour made it's way across his partner's cheeks. But then again, it couldn't have been. Dana Scully didn't blush.  
  
"Did I scare you?" Scully asked, regretting the question before she'd even finished the sentence. She'd *of course* meant her silent approach, but what if he took it the wrong way, and thought that she meant... what'd never happened, the rational part of her mind finished for her. Sure, they'd come a little too close, and for reasons she didn't want to look further into right now, she'd been uncomfortable with that, so she'd backed away. So had Mulder, probably simply out of reflex, rather than anything else. It was nothing, was it?   
  
"No", Mulder said, "I was... uhm... I was just a bit surprised, that's all."   
  
She let out an imperceptible sigh of relief. "So...", she said, quickly changing the subject, "who are the lucky men to share cabin with you?"  
  
Mulder made a grimace. "Agents Moore, Peters and Grafton." He gave her his best puppy-dog look. "Can I come sleep with you instead?" he joked. Scully felt her mind reel, as she gripped the rail for support. Such an innocent joke, but why did her mind respond the way it did? Why did her partner stir the secret emotions deep inside her by simply looking at her? What she really needed was some time alone; some time to think. Soon.  
  
But until she got her inside sorted out, she'd have to behave as usual. Probably after that too. "Of course, Mulder", she replied dryly, flashing him a smile, sweeter than sugar. "I'm sure Agent Sanders won't complain if you curl up in her locker." Scully was surprised she'd managed to sound as unaffected as she did. Mulder smiled back just as sweetly.   
  
"Oh, I can't thank you enough, Agent Scully. You're always *so* nice to me."   
  
Their conversation was interrupted by the start of the engines below them. "Hey, we're moving!" Mulder exclaimed. And he was right. A few minutes later, they felt the big ship starting to move out of the dock, slowly leaving the harbour behind them for the open ocean.  
  
*~*  
  
(part 5)  
  
They were watching the sunset, both lost in their own thoughts, as the ship crossed over the blue waves. Left from the earlier brisk wind was now only a gentle breeze, and the sky was an ocean of pink and orange. They had remained at the rail for almost an hour after the ship had left the harbour, most of the time spent in comfortable silence.  
  
Now, Scully looked at her watch. It was a little past six o'clock, which meant that they had a little less than an hour until the dinner was served. She turned to Mulder. "Mulder, do you mind if I leave? I feel that I'd really need some time on my own before the dinner."   
  
"Sure", Mulder answered. "Are you all right, Scully?"   
  
She smiled affectionately at the hint of concern in his eyes. "I'm fine, Mulder", she reassured him. "I just need some time to think, that's all."   
  
He nodded. "See you at dinner, then?"   
  
"I'll be there", Scully said, before she turned around and left.   
  
She didn't know where to go, so she took the steps to a higher deck, where she simply walked around for a while. Finally, she found an empty bench at the stern, and sat down.   
  
God, she needed to think. What the hell was going on inside her? It must be the sea, she decided. Growing up as a daughter of a sailor, she'd always loved the sea. It still held a special place in her heart. It was fascinating... And she loved the air. The fresh scent of salt felt almost intoxicating, and she took a deep breath, letting it fill her lungs.  
  
But yet, she'd felt the same way about her partner for years now, and she'd lived with it just fine. Well, *almost* just fine. There were nights when she'd laid awake, restlessly tossing and turning in her bed, wanting nothing more in her life than for him to hold her... To ease her pain, to fill that hollow gap in her chest that only he could do. But she'd learned to live with her dreams; they were nothing but fantasies, and the best for them all was to keep them that way. Wasn't it?  
  
She'd become a master of pushing her emotions away, not even letting herself have access to them. Pretending that she was totally content with just being friends. She would never complain about that; Fox Mulder was the best thing that had ever happened in her life, and she was grateful for every second they spent together. And if 'just friends' meant that they'd stay this way - then she was all right with it. Because she was certain that there was no way she would be able to carry on without him.   
  
Sighing, she leant back against the back of the bench and closed her eyes. So why did she feel like a nervous teenager on her first date now? Nothing between them had changed, that was for certain. Maybe it was the change of their surroundings, that the stiff walls of the Bureau were exchanged for a shiny new boat on an open ocean. Or maybe it simply was the sea. Eyes still closed, she could clearly picture her father, smiling down at her. Yes, she thought, it definitely was the sea. But whether that was a good or bad thing, she didn't know.   
  
What more she didn't know, was that Mulder was in no better state than her. After she'd left, he'd decided to go inside and take a shower to try to clear his thoughts. It didn't help him much though - the only purpose it served was to help him come to term with what he deep inside already knew: He was in love with Dana Scully.   
  
He was in love with her, and just her presence was driving him absolutely mad. Sure, he'd been in love with her for years now, but he didn't think that he could stand it much longer - just looking at her, just being her friend. How badly he wanted to touch her, in other ways than just for comfort. How badly he wanted to taste those soft, full lips of hers, to kiss her, to make love to her... But then again, she was his partner, and partners weren't supposed to fall in love, right? Right. Hell, he was even the oldest, the most experienced of them both, he was supposed to take care of her, to be responsible for them both. Not that she would ever let him do that - their partnership had long ago moved within the frames of equality. Respect. Trust. He shouldn't be feeling this way about her. It wasn't fair to either of them, he sadly thought to himself.   
  
Suddenly looking at his watch made him snap out of his reveries. Grabbing a towel, he turned off the shower to get himself ready for the dinner.  
  
*~*  
  
(part 6)   
  
He entered the dining room two minutes past seven, and his eyes fell immediately on the petite redhead at the third table from the door. She was sitting next to Agent Sanders, who was chatting with a couple of male agents Mulder barely recognised. As Scully caught sight of him, she waved to him to join them. He was glad that she'd held a seat for him. For a lot of reasons, he didn't feel very comfortable among the other agents - and neither did Scully, he suspected.   
  
"Thanks", he smiled at her, as she held out the chair for him. More for letting him sit next to her, than for the gesture, but how she took his words really didn't matter at the moment.   
  
"It's no bother", she said, smiling back.   
  
He looked around them.   
  
"Quite a big dinner considering that the party hasn't even begun yet", he commented.  
  
Skinner had decided that everyone should get comfortable on the ship before they started celebrating, so the real party wouldn't start until the next day. After all, they had four more days to spend before they reached Lisbon, and the whole way home. But if this dinner was only the slightest indication of what was to come, Mulder was certain he'd never be hungry again after this trip...   
  
Scully smiled at him. "I have a feeling that I have to agree with you on that..."  
  
They were interrupted by the waitress appearing with their food, and as the hours went by, Mulder silently had to admit that their tablemates were really nice. Maybe *everyone* at the Bureau wasn't complete assholes, and maybe this trip would be quite funny after all... But from the other end of the room, Skinner was watching them, a painful look in his eyes. He couldn't do it, not now. He'd tell them the next day instead, he decided. It wasn't too often he saw Mulder and Scully actually enjoying themselves at any official party, and he just didn't have the heart to ruin their evening. Neither the guts, if he was honest... There were few people he respected as much as them, 'the FBI's two most unwanted', as Mulder once so nicely had put it. He respected their struggle, their singled-minded search for the truth, even though he not seldom disliked the methods they used. They were good agents, two of the best he'd ever had, but even though he kept a clear distance to them, as he did to all the agent of his supervision, he had to admit that he saw them as more than just good agents. They weren't *always* a pain in the ass. He smiled sadly. He was going to miss them.  
  
  
  
(part 7)  
  
It was nearly midnight when Scully, as the first one at their table, broke up for the night. "Well", she said, "I've had a great evening, but I think that I'm going to retire for the night. Is there anyone else?"  
  
Mulder didn't have to think twice. Even though he had to admit that he'd found the other agents much nicer than he'd first expected, nothing could compete with a few more minutes with Scully. Even if it only meant walking her to her door.   
  
"Yeah, that might be a good idea", he said, standing up from his chair.  
  
"Mind if I stay a little longer?" Sanders asked her roommate.   
  
Scully shook her head. "Not at all. See you later!"  
  
They took their leaves, before they exited the dining room and started to walk back to their cabins. It didn't take many minutes, and they walked in silence. Strangely enough; they had spent so much time together on the road in comfortable silence, but now, the quiet somehow felt only laboured. Like both of them had something important to say to the other, but didn't know how, or where to start.  
  
Scully felt both relieved and terrified as they approached her cabin. Relieved, because the only thing she wanted right now was to climb into her bed alone and cover herself, and terrified because now she would *have* to say something.  
  
The same battle was going on inside Mulder's head, but yet, he was the one to finally break the wall. "Well, I guess this is the part where I kiss the girl good- night", he joked.  
  
Scully smirked. "You've been reading too many fairy-tells, Mulder", she replied dryly.  
  
Mulder chuckled. "Well, maybe eidetic memory isn't always a good thing", he replied good-naturedly. He was relieved that he'd managed to lighten up the threatening uncomfortable situation before it turned to something he couldn't control.  
  
Scully couldn't help tilting the corners of her mouth up in a smile. "Good night, Mulder", she said. "I've had a great evening."  
  
"So have I..." Mulder answered, starting to turn around. But something held him back, didn't let him go, and he found himself helplessly drawn to his partner's face. Their eyes locked, and he felt his head spinning, like he was drowning in the ocean of her eyes...   
  
Knowing that he couldn't let go just yet, he slowly reached forward to cup her cheek. His touch was lighter than a feather, but yet, Scully felt as if the time stood still. She was positive that her whole body was shaking violently, but at the same time, she was aware that her every muscle was frozen and she was unable to move, to speak, to breath... It could have been a second or a year, neither of them could tell, before Mulder withdraw and the spell was broken. He drew a trembling hand through his hair, and let out an inaudible sigh as he drew a shaky breath.   
  
"Good night, Scully", he said, stealing a last glance at her flushed face, before he turned around and disappeared around the corner.  
  
Fumbling with her keys to get the door to her cabin open, Scully finally managed to open it. She stepped inside and quickly closed it behind her. Leaning back against it to steady herself, she greedily filled her lungs with air in long, deep breaths. If it was possible for a person to blush from top to toe, she was certain that right now, she would do an excellent example. She remained in the same position for another minute, until she trusted her legs to carry her to her bed.  
  
*~*   
  
(part 8)  
  
The sun was shining in through the small window as Mulder woke up the following morning. Judging by its high position, and that the other beds were already empty, Mulder guessed that he'd slept long. He usually didn't sleep much, but now, he felt thoroughly rested. Probably because of the sleep, but he assumed that that wasn't the only reason. He shrugged, as he started to dress. Today was a new day, and he was ready to deal with it.  
  
It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the blinding sunlight as he stepped outside. Soon though, he spotted the form of a well-known, petite person at the rail a few metres away. As he approached her, a sting of last night's awkwardness sneaked up on him again, and he briefly wondered what he should say; what had changed, and what hadn't. But he didn't have to wonder long.  
  
Scully heard him approaching, and turned around to greet him. "Did you sleep well?" she asked.   
  
Mulder smiled wryly. "Like a baby. You?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah", she said, shrugging. "Although not *quite* as long as you..." She lifted a teasing eyebrow at him. He couldn't help but chuckle. It was as if last night had never happened; they were joking around with each other just as usual. And maybe that was even better, Mulder reasoned with himself. He'd just forget about it. *Try* to forget about it.  
  
"So, have you had breakfast already?" he asked her.   
  
"Yeah, a couple of years ago", she smirked.  
  
"Haaaaaa, very funny, Agent Scully", Mulder said. "I guess that means that you didn't save me any coffee, did you?!" he asked.   
  
Her smile was way too sweet. "No, I figured that since you slept so long, you wouldn't need any", she replied.   
  
"Ouch, where is my supportive partner?" Mulder asked mockingly, looking around them. "I thought that I spotted her here somewhere."  
  
"I have no idea, Mulder", Scully said, shaking her head. "Although I could help you look for her. Care to join me for a walk?" she asked.   
  
"Sure", Mulder replied, and they set off along the deck.   
  
*~*  
  
(part 9)  
  
The air was clean, cleaner than it had been in a long time, Skinner thought as he read through some papers. He was sitting inside his luxurious cabin, reading through some of the work he'd brought with him, feeling that he couldn't allow himself to relax completely until he had everything back home under control. The tray with the remnants of his breakfast was perched on the edge of the small table in the cabin, and he lifted his cup to let the last drops of coffee slowly make their way into his mouth.   
  
He should be happy. None of the members of the Consortium, not even the nameless, Cigarette Smoking Man, was on the ship. As much power as they held over him, at least he'd be able to spend his own birthday without any of them around. That's why he'd thought of such a *brilliant* idea of celebrating it on a ship. Plenty of time, plenty of space, plenty of people, and yet, only the people he *wanted* to be there. Of course, he didn't like all of the agents, but at least they didn't do any harm; in the conspiracy, they were all unknowing and innocent. All except two, and that was why he wasn't happy. Why did they have to get involved with everything? He admired them for their work, but they just didn't know when to stop. They'd got to close to the truth this time, too close to exposure...   
  
He replaced the cup on the tray and rubbed his forehead. God, he was sounding like one of Them now! But he was in a position that wasn't always easy to deal with. How could he help his agents, and still protect them? How could he make them understand that he was just doing what he thought was best for them? He wasn't working against them, although he could understand why they sometimes thought that.   
  
They would go ballistic when he told them. He was risking his ass, and neither of them would notice. But he understood them completely. Yet, he felt like he was the winner in this battle. They wanted to see them separated. They didn't see Scully as a threat without her partner, so she could go on working back in Washington. He would put her in the Violent Crimes Section, where he could secretly assign her to various matters that were equivalent to the X-Files. Mulder, on the other hand, had been a harder task. They wanted to see him eliminated, and they would, but not the way they thought. After endless-seeming researches and phone-calls, he'd finally got in touch with an old friend in Germany. They'd served together in Vietnam, and although they now worked in the same kind of business, they hadn't been in touch in several years. Anyway, this old friend had connections to something that could be considered as Germany's equivalent to the X-Files, which meant that Mulder could pursue his quest from there. And since the Consortium worked world-wide, he and Scully could still profit by one another.  
  
Yeah, his solution to the whole matter was great. Now, his greatest task of all remained: to get Mulder and Scully to realise that too. He'd never say that it would be a simple one...   
  
He looked at his watch. He had plenty of time. He'd tell them this afternoon, the sooner the better, he reasoned. That would still give him several hours to think up how to tell them...  
  
*~*   
  
(part 10)  
  
...but he didn't.   
  
The longer the day passed, the more hesitant he became. It wasn't a hurry, was it? The celebrations would start today, so why couldn't he let them enjoy themselves a little more? Content with his decision for the moment, he let himself relax a bit before the party begun, with a slow stroll along the deck.   
  
From a level above him, he was being watched by the main cause to his slightly furrowed forehead. "Hey, there's Mr. Birthday Boy himself!" Mulder said to Scully, as he looked out over the lower deck.   
  
"Where?" Scully asked, looking up from her book and removing her sunglasses to peer in the direction of Mulder's pointing finger.   
  
"There, at the rail, walking towards the stem", Mulder replied.   
  
"So?" Scully asked, turning over a leaf of her book while still looking at the older man.  
  
"So - nothing!" Mulder said. "What are you reading that's so fascinating, by the way?"   
  
"Oh, it's just a book about medicine that I intended to read long ago", Scully replied. "Now I finally have the time."   
  
"Oh", Mulder said. Then his gaze turned mischievous. "Are you joining me for a dip in the pool?" he asked.   
  
That brought a groan from Scully. "In your dreams, Mulder."  
  
Mulder chuckled, as he rose from the chair he'd been sitting in, grimacing as his stiff muscled complained. "Well, I'm going anyway", he said. "See you later."   
  
Scully watched him as he left for the pool at the other end of the deck. Something felt wrong... his absence felt disturbing. One half of her wanted to run after him, swim and play with him in the pool, but her other half restrained her. She just didn't know which part was right.  
  
She felt regret for declining him, not only this time. Why did she always have to have control? Why couldn't she afford herself getting a bit carried away sometimes? It couldn't be healthy always acting by the book, could it? Yet, she needed the frames she'd built up around her life. She needed to be grounded, to have a safe anchor to cling to. Especially when it came to her partner.   
  
In the beginning, the shield had been just professional. A tool to help her look at his theories with a sober and realistic mind. But the closer they'd got, the more personal had the shield turned. If she just gave after, they would both end up in misery. It would never work. Okay, most of what he said was jokes, but what if she one day took them seriously? But both of them knew that she wouldn't. Still, she couldn't help but worry. What if Mulder one day got tired of her always debunking him, declining him, refusing him? What if he one day started to look around for another partner? Or another woman?  
  
She felt a knot of jealousy starting to grow in her stomach. She knew that Mulder liked her, but how much? Would he always stand by her side? She trusted him more than she trusted anyone, and if one day he let her down... she would die inside. She knew that he wouldn't do that, not consciously. The thing was; did he know how much she cared, personally? Judging by the cool, professional side she always showed him, he most probably didn't.  
  
She thought about what had happened on this trip, especially last night. It had been a moment of... she didn't want to admit what she thought it had been. She had been so sure, they had been so close... but after they broke apart, everything had gone back to normal again. The reflection stirred a lot of similar memories to break free from where they'd been stored away, and she winced inwardly. She'd had so many chances to change everything...   
  
A bit of a poem swept through her mind:  
  
"I know I could've had it, 'cause I found my soulmate,   
  
but God, I didn't do anything, and now it is too late..."  
  
She closed her eyes, cursing the tears threatening to escape her. Cursing the world. Cursing herself. Briskly she rose, gathered her things and fled down to her cabin. Blurry, she thought that she heard Mulder call out after her, but she didn't turn around, didn't stop until she was laying in her cabin, safely hid beneath the cool sheets.   
  
*~*  
  
(part 11)   
  
"Scully, are you all right?" Mulder called out. It was a stupid thing to ask, really, he knew that she was everything but all right. He didn't know what had happened, just that one moment she was sitting at their table, and when he turned around next time, she was running away, obviously very upset. He hadn't had the time to study her intently, but her flushed face and body language had said it all. Now he was standing outside her cabin, waiting for her to answer.   
  
"Scully?" he called out again.  
  
There was a rustle of sheets, and after a while, he heard her muffled reply.   
  
"Go away, Mulder", she called, her voice angry and thick of tears.   
  
No way. There was no way he would just walk away, and they both knew it. "Was it me?" Mulder asked. "Did I do anything?"   
  
Her reply came quicker this time. "No..." she started, "or... yes - no..."  
  
"But it *was* me?" he asked, daring her to continue. He could hear her growing angrier.   
  
"Mulder, I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone", she declared. "I'm fine."   
  
There was nothing he hated more than those words. *I'm fine*. He'd heard them so many times, and he knew very well that she wasn't. Why couldn't she talk to him, open up for him? How could she say she trusted him, and then keep so many secrets to herself?   
  
"The hell you are!" he shouted. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Damn it, why couldn't she just open the door  
  
"Look, Scully", he said, "I'm going to sit here until you open that door, even if it takes the whole trip back to the US again. I won't go away, so you may as well let me in."  
  
He waited breathlessly for a couple of seconds, until he finally heard movements on the other side of the door. He heard her light steps approaching, and finally, she unlocked the door.   
  
He gently opened it and stepped inside. She was sitting on her bed again, her face turned away from him. Feeling awkward, he sat down on the other bed, waiting for her to speak. He didn't have to wait long.   
  
"I'm sorry, Mulder", she said flatly, still turned away from him.   
  
"What do you mean?" he asked gently, as he understood that she wasn't going to say anymore. "Why are you sorry?"   
  
She finally turned around to face him. He face was flushed and tear-stricken, and her eyes were swollen. He could see that she'd been crying a lot.  
  
"Please, Mulder", she said, trying her best to keep her voice strong, "I don't want to talk about it, not now. Just -", she shrugged, "just know that I'm sorry, okay?"  
  
He nodded silently. He didn't know what she possibly could feel so bad about, but he knew that, if it was really important, she would talk to him eventually. So he decided not to push her. Instead, he offered her a tentative smile.   
  
It worked. Reluctantly, she tilted the corners of her mouth up to mirror his gesture, but the next instant it was gone, once again replaced by a sad expression.  
  
"Will you hold me?" she asked quietly. Now, Mulder couldn't stop himself from grinning. "Of course", he said, moving to gently sit down next to her.   
  
She hesitantly leaned in to rest her head against his chest, and as he pulled her closer, she snuggled against him more fully and closed her eyes.   
  
He rested his chin on her head, slowly stroking her silky hair, until he saw that she'd fallen asleep. Then he gently laid her down onto her bed and pulled the cover up over her. Planting a soft kiss to her forehead, he then quietly exited her room.  
  
*~*  
  
(part 12)   
  
They didn't meet anymore until dinner a few hours later, as they almost bumped into one another at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey!" Mulder exclaimed, smiling.  
  
"Hey yourself", Scully replied, chuckling slightly.   
  
"I assumed that you were still asleep, so I didn't want to wake you up", Mulder explained, his eyes serious.   
  
"Thanks", Scully said, understanding his concern. "I feel much better now."  
  
"I'm glad", Mulder said. He could see that the sleep had done her good. Her eyes weren't swollen anymore, and she looked much more relaxed. She'd done her hair, and she was wearing a long, dark blue, sleeveless satin dress, and her eyes were glittering. She looked downright *gorgeous*, he thought.   
  
"Well, since you're here, would you care to join me for dinner?" he asked, offering her his arm in a playful gesture.   
  
"I'd like to very much indeed", Scully answered in the same polite manner, taking his arm, just before they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.  
  
They stopped at the entrance of the dining room, stunned. If they had considered the dinner the previous night as luxury, this was *madness*. Firstly, they'd removed a wall, so the dining room was twice as big as it had been the previous night. There were flowers and candles on the tables, and the bar in one corner of the enormous room was opened. In the middle of the room, there was a big expanse, which was clear from tables, and Scully suspected that would be the place for the dance later. Her suspicion was confirmed as she noticed a scene at the far wall, where a band was unpacking their instruments.  
  
Lots of agents were already there, dressed up for the night, as if it were some big gala. But then again, Mulder thought, shaking his head in a mix of amusement and astonishment, it wasn't every day that the assistant Director of the FBI celebrated his 50th birthday. He was just about to ask Scully where she wanted to sit, when Skinner himself approached them.  
  
"Mulder, Scully!" he greeted them.   
  
"Sir", Scully said politely, "this is fantastic!"   
  
Skinner's face lit up. "Thank-you, I'm glad you like it. Well, you can sit down anywhere you want to", he said, gesturing around them. "I hope you'll enjoy yourselves now!"   
  
Mulder smiled at him. "Thank-you, sir. And happy birthday."   
  
Now, Skinner couldn't hold back his smile any longer. Mulder and Scully soon found an empty table and sat down. Although they talked about trivial things, there was a tension between them that didn't seem to want to loosen up. Therefor, both of them secretly felt relieved as Peters and Grafton sat down at the empty places beside them and started to chat merrily. Soon, they were all deeply engaged in conversation. Not long afterwards; when not a single place was empty, a fabulous dinner was served.   
  
"So, it has its advantages being a federal agent after all, hasn't it?" Peters said, as they were halfway through their meal. "Not everyone gets a free cruise to Europe just because their boss has got a birthday."   
  
Mulder smiled. "I guess your wife wasn't envious at all", he said.  
  
"Oh, definitely not", Peters replied, winking to them. "She was only thinking about joining the FBI herself to keep me company..." They all laughed.   
  
Mulder suddenly looked serious again. "But what about Skinner? He doesn't seem pretty happy, does he? I mean, after all, this is *his* party, but the few times I've seen him here on this ship, he's seemed distant and troubled, somehow."  
  
"Maybe he's missing his wife", Grafton suggested. "Why isn't Sharon here, by the way?"  
  
"Oh", Peters said, his sense for snapping up gossip now coming to use, "she's already in Europe, didn't you know?"   
  
"She is?" Scully asked, her eyebrows lifted.   
  
"Yeah", Peters said, "I heard that she's attending some conference with her job, in Rome, I think. She'll meet us in Lisbon, to take this ship home as well."  
  
"Oh", Scully said, "then he should be glad, shouldn't he? After what I've understood, they don't spend too much time together."  
  
"Maybe he's just seasick", Grafton suggested.   
  
Scully lifted a teasing eyebrow ever so invisible to Mulder, and they all laughed again. The evening went on. Unbelievably as it first had seemed to Mulder, Peters and Grafton had turned out to be really nice. They had never spoken before the trip, but he was quite certain that he and Scully had got some new friends. Moore was very friendly too, as was Scully's roommate Sanders. They were, however, not to be seen at the moment, but he suspected that they were somewhere among all the dancing couples. Sanders had only showed up at their table briefly to say hi, and to tell Scully that she'd probably be alone in their cabin the following night. Smiling secretively, she'd then disappeared into the crowd again.   
  
Since the female agents were a minority of the guests, they were even more attractive. Scully had been asked for a couple of dances by different agents, but she'd declined them all, to Mulder's amusement. Seeing his grin, she'd answered by giving him one of the smiles he was positive would melt his heart any day. However, when Grafton later suggested that they'd try the floor, she couldn't refuse. After throwing a hasty glance at Mulder, looking for some kind of assurance that it was okay, and he smiled at her, she disappeared into the crowd together with Grafton.   
  
It was okay, really. Mulder knew that he didn't have to feel jealous at all; he knew that Grafton had only looked for a dance partner. And that gaze he'd received - as if she'd somehow wanted his permission before she said yes... it was sure worth it.   
  
"Mulder?"  
  
He was interrupted in his thought by Peters, and he turned to give him an apologetic smile. Peters smiled back. "You aren't troubled with Grafton dancing with Scully, are you?" he asked. "Because if you are, I can tell you -"  
  
"No, not at all", Mulder interrupted him. "Really, we're just partners."   
  
Suddenly it felt incredibly hot in the room. Dreading any further questions, Mulder rose from the table. "I have to get some air", he declared, and Peters nodded.  
  
"See you later, Mulder", he said. Mulder gave him a hasty smile, before pushing his way through all the couples to stride out of the room.  
  
*~*   
  
(part 13)  
  
He wasn't surprised as he heard the light footsteps approaching him from behind. Knowing that she would come, he'd waited for them, almost been listening for them. Longing for them at the same time as he dreaded them...   
  
"Scully", he said, more as a statement than as a question, as he continued to stare into the long trail of white foam that the ship created in the water below them.   
  
"Are you all right, Mulder?" she asked, and in the corner of his eye, he watched her stop beside him, lean against the rail and follow his gaze down into the water.  
  
"Yeah..." he replied absently, at the same time as he was more than aware of her presence, her every breath. "I just needed some air", he continued, feeling that he owed her an explanation. He couldn't tell if she believed him or not, but she seemed content with his answer at the moment, so he didn't bother to say anything more.  
  
It was still light outside, and not a single cloud was visible on the orange sky. In the east, a few stars had started to shine, but in the west, the sun still lingered near the horizon, reluctant to give way for the night. The sea was calm, and except for the muffled sound of music and happy voices from the dining room one level below them, there was nothing interrupting the peaceful evening.  
  
But there certainly was no peace inside Mulder's head. Rather, he felt like a whirlwind was making its way through him, and there was nothing he could do to make it calm down. The presence of his partner was itching at every single bit of his conscience, and at the same time it was intoxicating, giving him a feeling of dizziness. His head was filled of an echo of her voice. The slight hint of concern in it, and the knowledge that she at least cared as much as to follow him when he disappeared out of the dining room was comforting... but at the same time, it wasn't enough. And without giving it a second thought, the question he'd carried in his heart for so long escaped his lips.   
  
"Scully... why don't we talk to each other?" he asked her, turning to look at her in complete. "I mean, you're my partner, my best friend, and I trust you with my *life*. And still, we can't really *talk* to each other. Why?" he asked.   
  
She regarded him, a slight furrow adorning her forehead as she thought about the meaning of his words. Where was this conversation headed? She knew the answer, she knew exactly how he felt. She'd felt the same for a long time. But yet, she just couldn't say the words. "To be honest, Mulder...", she said, "I don't know. I..." she interrupted herself, shrugging.   
  
Mulder nodded, understanding her feeling of vulnerability and fear. Hell, he was scared to death himself by this conversation. But it was something they both needed to have, and now was not the time for being a coward. Taking a deep breath, he continued.  
  
"You do know how I feel about you, don't you?" he asked, his voice betraying far too many emotions, in his ears.   
Yet, she didn't seem to notice that. Or maybe didn't want to...  
  
Her rational mind was screaming for her to put an end to all this. And God, she wanted to - they shouldn't even be having this conversation, should they? Yet, there was something in his eyes, his voice, that told her just how very exposed he felt. How much he feared her answer, but at the same time, how badly he needed to hear the truth. And when it all came down to it, so did she. If nothing more, she owed him an honest answer.   
  
She swallowed hard, knowing that this was it. Things were never again to be the same. She gripped his hands tightly, almost afraid she might actually crush them, but too much in need of feeling him to let go.   
  
"I do, Mulder", she whispered, "I do, and I feel the same way about you. I love you, Mulder."   
  
His eyes widened just the slightest bit, and she then watched the sunniest smile she'd ever seen spread across his countenance. She couldn't help grinning herself as he crushed her to him, his hands lightly stroking her back as he nuzzled her neck.   
  
"I love you too, Scully", he said softly. "I love you so much..." And then he lifted her face to him, his palm softer than velvet against her jaw, his lips claiming hers in an innocent kiss.  
  
She was positive she was lifting from the ground out of pure joy. This felt so incredibly good, so right. She laid her arms around his neck as she deepened the kiss, the world rapidly narrowing to nothing more than the two of them, standing on the stern of the ship in the middle of the ocean, kissing in the sunset.   
  
Soon, however, she became aware of the reality, and pulled back. "We can't do this here, Mulder", she whispered, trying to catch her breath. "Anyone can see us..."   
  
Mulder ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to think rationally. She was right, of course, they shouldn't be doing this... but yet, he couldn't quite hold back his disappointment.  
  
His eyes speaking volumes, Scully had no trouble to understand what was going on inside his head. She felt bereft herself, and her whole body ached for him. The few inches that separated them were far too big a distance. She reached out to smooth his cheek, feeling him shudder slightly under her touch.   
  
"Though I know a place where we can be alone..." she whispered to him, her eyes glinting in the last rays of the sun that still lingered over them.   
  
Mulder reached out to smooth away some of the golden strands of hair that framed her face. "Sounds good to me", he said, giving her another smile.   
  
She squeezed his fingers lightly, then walked off towards her cabin, Mulder following closely behind.   
  
*~*   
  
(part 14)  
  
"Mulder?" Scully tapped him lightly on the shoulder. As she saw his eyelids starting to flutter, she bowed down to kiss his collarbone. As she looked up at him again, he was smiling at her.   
  
"Hi there, sleepyhead", she whispered, returning his smile.   
  
He reached out to cup her cheek, and she closed her hand upon his.  
  
"Slept well?" she asked.  
  
"Never better", he replied, pulling her down to him to a lazy kiss. As they pulled away, their eyes locked, and they shared a huge grin. "Although", he said, feeling his back complain as Scully laid down beside him in the narrow bed again, "I'm not sure these beds really were made for two persons".  
  
Scully pretended to think for a while. "Well, in that case, I guess we'll just have to lay a bit closer", she said, snuggling closer to bury her face into his neck, nuzzling him there. "You don't mind, do you?" she asked, raising a teasing eyebrow at him.   
  
He chuckled. "Maybe that's just why they made these beds so narrow", he mused.   
  
They were quiet for a while, just enjoying being close. From what Scully could see from the bed's position below the window, it was a beautiful day; the sun was streaming in through the window, and not a single cloud was visible on the blue sky. The sun appeared to be standing pretty high already, and a sudden thought struck her. "Mulder, what time is it?" she asked.  
  
He disentangled his arm to look at his watch. "Almost ten", he said. "Maybe we should get out of bed, or we'll miss the breakfast", Scully said.   
  
"You need breakfast?" Mulder asked mockingly. Scully nodded. "Actually, certain... activities makes you hungry", she replied back in a teasing voice. She smiled slightly, as she thought back on the previous night. They certainly hadn't *slept* much... She couldn't even begin to describe the feelings, but the memories were so vivid that she almost blushed. There was definitely no wonder they'd slept late this morning...  
  
"Good point", Mulder agreed, yet unwilling to get out of the bed. So was she. But they could get back later... "Besides", she added, "Sanders could be back any minute, and I don't know how pleased she'll be to see you and me in her bed..."  
  
"This *is* her bed?" Mulder asked, his eyes widening. "You're kidding!"   
  
Scully chuckled. "Yes I am", she said, kissing him lightly on the top of his nose. "But now, honey, *move*!"   
  
Mulder gave her a dark glare, then smiled, stealing a last kiss from her.  
  
"Are you joining me?" he asked as he rose from the bed and headed towards the shower.   
  
"In a minute", Scully replied, climbing out after him to start picking up the discarded clothes that were strewn all around the room. She smiled for herself as she picked up his boxers. The look on Sanders's face if she'd open the door right now was almost worth waiting for. Almost. Still, it was nothing compared to a hot shower with Mulder. And as she stepped in to him, she forgot all her thoughts about breakfast.   
  
*~*   
  
(part 15)   
  
Skinner looked at his watch as he saw the two agents enter the deck. Quarter past eleven. Where on earth had they been so long? But now was not the time for pondering over that. He needed to talk to them. Seriously. Checking his watch another time, his face set in a neutral expression, he strode over to meet them.   
  
"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully", he greeted them, and they looked up at him.   
  
"Sir?" Scully asked.  
  
"Can I see both of you in my office in ten minutes?" Skinner asked.  
  
"Of course, Sir", Mulder said. "Has anything happened?"  
  
"Uhm... not really", Skinner said. "I just need to talk to you about a few things."   
  
He left, leaving Mulder and Scully bewildered. A thought struck Mulder.  
  
"You don't think he knows anything...?" he asked Scully.  
  
She shrugged. "I don't know, Mulder", she replied. "How would that be possible?"   
  
"I have no idea", Mulder said. "I guess we'll have to go and hear what he wants."   
  
He smiled. "And Scully... deny everything", he joked, coaxing her to reluctantly smile back.  
  
A few minutes later, they knocked on the door to Skinner's spacious cabin. At Skinner's reply, Mulder opened it, and out of habit, he placed his hand on the small of Scully's back to guide her inside. Now, however, the feel of her body brought other memories to his mind, and he had to fight hard to keep a cool exterior rather than letting through the full-blown grin that bubbled under the professional facade.   
  
"You may sit down", Skinner said, motioning towards two chairs standing opposite his small desk.   
  
Mulder and Scully quietly obeyed, waiting for him to go on.   
  
"Some serious problems have arisen back in DC", Skinner started, pacing behind his desk.   
  
Mulder and Scully shared a gaze, not understanding where he was heading.   
  
"Some powerful forces", Skinner continued, "are demanding that the X-Files will be shut down, and never again be reopened."   
  
"They can't do that!" Mulder protested.   
  
"That's exactly what they can, Agent Mulder", Skinner said, his voice cold. "You've got closer to the truth than they ever expected - that's why I was able to reopen the X-Files before", he explained.   
  
"But this time I am in no such position."   
  
"Why?" Scully asked.   
  
"Because they are afraid", Skinner said. "They are afraid, and that makes them demand more than just some files." He turned to look at Mulder. "They want you - dead."   
  
"That's not the first time", Mulder commented dryly.   
  
"But they *mean* it this time", Skinner said. "And they will do anything to get what they want."   
  
"So what can we do?" Scully asked.  
  
"We're going to do as they wish", Skinner continued. "We're going to make them think you're dead, Agent Mulder. I have a reliable friend in Germany who's responsible for Germany's equivalent to the X-Files. It's not as complete, but it's top secret. No-one will be able to find you."   
  
"Wait a minute", Mulder protested, "I'm not going to Germany."  
  
"That's exactly what you are, Agent Mulder." Skinner said. "You don't have a choice. A plane is waiting for you in Lisbon."   
  
"What?" Mulder flew up from his chair. "You mean that I'm going there *now*? Is that why you invited Scully and me to this trip?!"   
  
"Agent Mulder, sit down", Skinner said patiently, understanding his reaction completely, yet unable to solve this any other way.   
  
"No, I'm *NOT* going to sit down", Mulder yelled. "There's now way I'm going to Germany, NO FUCKING WAY!"   
  
"Agent Mulder", Skinner said, his voice dark, "sit down NOW."  
  
Mulder wasn't about to obey, had it not been for Scully, who reached out to squeeze his fingers. She appeared calm, but her posture was rigid, and Mulder could see that she was just as upset as he was. Still, her calming effect on him was stronger than his reeling mind, and finally, he obediently sat down, as another thought struck his mind.   
  
"So what about Scully?" he asked, somewhere in the back of his head already knowing the answer.   
  
"I was just coming to that", Skinner said. "Agent Scully will stay in the US. They don't see her as a real threat without you, and therefor, she can secretly continue your quest from there. She will have access to your old files, although I will officially have her transferred to the Violent Crimes Section. The Conspiracy is world-wide, Agent Mulder. Your new positions may even be to your advantage."   
  
Both Mulder and Scully stayed silent this time, and Skinner knew that he'd better end this meeting before there was a second 'explosion'.   
  
"So", he said, indicating that there was nothing more to say, "I'll get back to you before we reach Lisbon."   
  
Mulder and Scully stood up, and Mulder turned to Skinner once more. "You don't honestly believe that I'm going, do you?" he asked as calmly as he could muster, disbelief filling his voice.   
  
"Yes, I do, Agent Mulder", Skinner answered in the same, reserved voice. "I'm only doing this to save you", he said.   
  
The only answer he got, was the slam of the door behind them as they left. He sighed, wearily sitting down again. He could only hope that someday, they'd understand.   
  
*~*  
  
(part 16)  
  
"I'm not going, Scully", Mulder said, as they slowly walked away from Skinner's cabin. "No way."   
  
"Mulder..." Scully started, "as much as I hate it, you don't really have a choice here, do you?"   
  
Mulder was silent for a while. "So what about you?" he finally asked. "Are you coming with me?"  
  
It took a moment before she answered. "Mulder, I can't. Not now."   
  
"Why?" Mulder asked, his voice cold.  
  
Scully sighed. "A lot of reasons. My - I can't just leave my mom without any notification. And we don't even know if they'd let me work with you, *you* were the one assigned in Germany, not me. And I'm needed back in DC!"   
  
Mulder was growing angry, and she could see it. "What if *I* need you? What about 'us'?"   
  
Scully bit her lip as she fought to keep her tears back. This was the hardest thing she'd ever have to say...   
  
"Maybe...", she said, and it was as if the whole corridor was holding its breath, "maybe you and I were never supposed to be..."  
  
It was a lie, and they both knew it. She couldn't look him in the eyes, but she knew perfectly clear how his reaction would be. And she didn't have to wait long for it. Mulder just couldn't believe his ears. How could she stand there, telling him that they'd been wrong, that there was no 'us'?  
  
"What?!" he asked, although he'd heard every single word she'd said.   
  
"Mulder -" she started, but he didn't let her finish.  
  
"So you're saying that you're sorry?" he yelled. "That it was all a big fucking mistake, is that what you're saying? I'm not buying that crap, Scully!"   
  
"Mulder, please...", Scully said, her eyes brimming over with tears, but he interrupted her again by taking her by her shoulders and looking into her eyes.   
  
Becoming aware of that he'd been yelling to her, Mulder made an effort to calm down. "Okay", he said, not letting go of her, "look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me. That what we did was wrong."   
  
Scully took a deep breath before she answered. Please, God, she thought, help him understand this...   
  
"I *do* love you, Mulder" she said. "More than anything, and I'll always remember what we had as the most wonderful time in my life. But... maybe it'd be better for both of us if it'd never happened."   
  
Mulder sighed. This wasn't getting anywhere. Didn't she understand how much he needed her? He couldn't live without her! "Don't you see, Scully?" he asked her. "They're separating us again! We're doing exactly what they want us to do!"   
  
"No they are not, Mulder", Scully said, "this is an attempt to *save* us, for God's sake!"   
  
"They've said that before, Scully!" Mulder argued. "How can you be so sure it's true this time?"   
  
They were both silent, just staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Mulder's eyes narrowed, as he regarded her.  
  
"You're one of Them, aren't you?"   
  
Scully's jaw dropped. How could he even think of such an idea? "Excuse me?!" she asked.   
"You didn't even protest when Skinner told us!" Mulder said, his voice raising in volume. "You knew about it all before, didn't you?" he yelled. "And you got together with me just because you knew how it would break my heart! You knew that you were the only one I trusted, and you deceived me all from the beginning!"   
  
"Damn it, Mulder!" Scully yelled back, the anger rising through her stomach. "How can you say so? I trust you with my life, Mulder, and you know it! But I'm not your personal slave! Don't you think this is hard for me? You never think about how *I* feel!"   
  
"You think it's hard to *say* that you're backing off?" Mulder yelled. "Well, it's a hell of a lot harder to *take* it! I don't even have a choice! And if you really trusted me as much as you claim you do, you wouldn't hesitate!"   
  
"Okay, so what about you?" Scully yelled back, her eyes flashing, "You're not exactly better! You say that I'm the only thing that matters to you, and the next instant you're ditching me and running off alone to God knows where to chase some fucking UFO! You don't even let me know where the hell you're going! Is that what you call trust? Fuck you, Mulder!!"   
  
That hit hard, and as soon as Scully had said it, a small part of her regretted it. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, baring all the hurt, the anger, and the despair that mirrored there. Mulder's eyes were darker than midnight as he replied, and his voice sounded pained.   
  
"I'd never ditch you for anything like this, Scully", he said. But she had already taken off down the corridor, and in the next instant, she turned around the corner and was gone.   
  
*~*  
  
(part 17)  
  
It was more than twenty-four hours since the time he'd last seen her, but the images of her were replaying over and over again in his mind, as vivid as had it been only a few minutes ago.   
  
They had been arguing. He didn't want to remember her face as she'd left him in that corridor, but photographic memory or not, he knew that he'd never forget how she'd looked then.   
  
The tears in her eyes. All the anger, and the hurt he'd seen there. The *hurt*. He was consumed by another wave of guilt, as he thought about how much he'd hurt her. How could he have said those things? He *knew* that she wasn't one of Them - she'd never be. She'd never let him down.   
  
He'd screwed it all up. More than ever.  
  
She'd never forgive him this time. And yet, he knew that she still loved him. He'd seen it in her eyes, and that made him feel even worse. He didn't deserve being loved by her, and if she did forgive him, he certainly didn't deserve that. He'd been such an asshole!   
  
He'd been unfair. She'd been right, so very right, but he couldn't take it, because she'd never said it to him right up in his face. Until now. It hurt. It hurt to hear how much she hurt when he ever so often so carelessly ditched her, drove off somewhere and left her alone. He'd never really thought about it before, because he hadn't thought she'd cared as much. But she had. That alone proved how wrong he'd been when he'd accused her for all those things.  
  
But he loved her. He loved her so much, and he just couldn't let go. How would he be able to go on without her? The answer was simple: he wouldn't, and it'd had been the same even if they hadn't got together now. He depended on her, and no one could ever replace her. Maybe she was right about this too, that they should do like Skinner suggested, but in this case, he refused to think rationally. Because he needed her, more than he needed air to breathe. He wouldn't let them take her away from him again. Anything but that.   
  
He turned around in the bed, to stare into the wall. He had returned straight to the cabin after the argument, and he hadn't left it since. It was past noon, so he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast the day before, but he wasn't hungry. He *would* go and find something to eat, later... His roommates had asked him what was wrong, but as he'd simply ignored them, they'd left him alone, just as he'd wanted. Of course, they'd slept in the room, but none of them had asked anything more. He was grateful for that.   
  
The sun was still shining, and the sky was just as clear blue as it'd been when they'd looked up at it through Scully's window.  
  
They.  
  
Scully.   
  
He groaned as the memories once again came back to him. The wonderful feeling of laying close to her, skin against skin, their hearts beating together... Her blue eyes glittering, cloudy with passion as they made love to each other... Her soft lips against his, and the incredible feeling of their first kiss...   
  
He buried his face into the pillow and cried.  
  
*~*   
  
(part 18)   
  
It was already late afternoon, as Sanders stuck out her head from the small bathroom.   
  
"Are you ready to go, Dana?" she called out.   
  
"Scully", Scully corrected her, not even wondering why she'd bothered at all. She had the distinct feeling that it had to do with Mulder, though... like everything else in her life. She sighed, as she sat on her bed, but didn't move.  
  
"And I told you, Sanders, I'm not going", she added.   
  
Sanders appeared fully in the doorway. "Yes, you are", she insisted, sitting down beside her. "It's about Mulder, isn't it?" she asked gently.   
  
She could see Scully's body jerk slightly at the mentioning of his name, but she remained silent. "Look", Sanders said, determined not to give up that easily, "I don't know what's happened between you two, and I'm not going to ask you about it if you don't want to. But I do know that whatever it is, you can't stay in this cabin forever. Now you're coming with me to have some lunch, okay?"   
  
Scully slowly nodded her head, realising that she wasn't going to win. She snapped out of her reverie and stood up. "Just give me a minute", she said, heading towards the bathroom.   
  
"Sure", Sanders said, a triumphant smile on her lips.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Scully and Sanders were sitting in one of the smaller dining rooms. It was a late lunch, but even though Scully had to admit that she was actually quite hungry, the food still seemed tasteless and irrelevant. She had so much else to think about...   
  
She'd kept replaying the fight in her head over and over again the last twenty-four hours, trying to rationalise it and look at it from different angles. Still, she always ended up at the same point; how terribly rude and unfair she'd been to Mulder. She'd hurt him so much by all those accusations - she'd seen it in his eyes, and still, she'd been unable to stop. Looking back, she couldn't say what was the truth anymore, but both of them had been right, and both of them were so *damn* stubborn...   
  
She hated herself for it. She didn't remember the words anymore, but it didn't matter. She might have been right, but to what cost? She just knew that she felt so terribly lost... So alone.   
  
But then again, what could she do? She just couldn't choose. Yes, she could remember a million of times when she'd willingly left everything else to follow Mulder somewhere, but this was different. How could they even trust Skinner to tell the truth? They'd doubted him a million times before, so Mulder'd had a point there. But so had she. What if he was really trying to save their lives? And by following Mulder, which wasn't part of the original plan, maybe she'd jeopardise his life even more? She just didn't know what to do...   
  
"Scully?" Sander's voice once again cut into her thoughts. "Are you okay?" she wondered. "You look a bit pale..."   
  
Scully offered her a lop-sided smile. "I'm fine", she said, "I guess I just got a bit lost in thoughts..." She stood up. "I think I'll be heading back... thanks for giving me a kick in the ass, though, and dragging me here", she said, making Sander's smile.   
  
"It's nothing to thank for", Sanders said, and Scully gave her another reassuring - or as reassuring she could muster - smile, before turning to walk out of the dining room.   
  
She looked around her the whole way, to reassure herself that she wasn't meeting Mulder anywhere. She didn't trust herself to be able to handle the situation yet... Just as she started to relax a bit and almost smile at her own paranoia, she rounded a corner - and bumped right into a very familiar man.   
  
Mulder.  
  
As she slowly lifted her eyes to his, he was already looking down at her. Their eyes locked for the briefest second, before Mulder turned away his gaze.   
  
"Sorry...", he mumbled, and Scully felt her heart break yet another time as he hurried away and disappeared into the crowd.   
  
She remained paralysed, looking after him for another minute as if pure willpower could bring him back, before she bit down hard on her lip and hastily strode the rest of the way to her cabin. Her vision was blurry from unshed tears, and it was all she could do to keep up a brave face while still in public.   
  
As she'd closed the door to her cabin behind her, she slowly walked the few feet over to her bed and sat down. Her gaze lost in the empty space before her, she felt the tight knot of pain repressed in her chest start to loosen up. And in synchrony with that, the first tears began to fall. She closed her eyes tightly, but she couldn't prevent them. She slowly leaned back down onto the bed, and her whole body was shaking as her silent tears gradually turned into helpless sobs. She crushed her pillow to her and cried harder than she'd ever done in her whole life.  
  
*~*  
  
(part 19)  
  
If there is any stage in which a person is more lost, than the stage of desperate crying, it is the stage after. The stage of apathy.   
  
"I'm *fine*, Sanders", Scully said impatiently, as she felt her friend's eyes on her. "You go and have a great night with whoever-he-is now."  
  
"Are you sure?" Sanders asked, feeling guilty for running off to yet another night of partying, while leaving her roommate alone. She didn't know what had happened, but it was very obvious that something had, and Scully was pushing it away in a way she didn't like at all, pretending that everything was indeed fine.   
  
Scully nodded insistently. "I'll be fine. I just need some time alone..."   
  
Sanders nodded. "I'll see you later then", she said, closing the door behind her as she left.   
  
Scully was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, just like she'd been doing the last hours. She wasn't crying anymore - she felt as if her eyes were all drained of tears. She'd been thinking a lot, though.   
  
She couldn't get over what had happened there outside the dining room earlier today. She and Mulder had met, and time had stopped for a wee second. As their eyes had met, she'd seen all the love that still mirrored there, and it had felt as if their argument had never even occurred. She'd almost *believed* that it'd never happened, but then Mulder had broken their eye contact and put up his defences again. And then he'd been gone.   
  
Why? What did he think? She'd gone over the questions over and over again, but she just couldn't come up with a good answer. Or maybe she wouldn't? He must still be mad at her, that was understandable. Did he feel guilty? That was understandable too, but God, he certainly didn't have to. He was constantly carrying around way too much guilt feelings for his own good health, he definitely didn't need anymore of those. Maybe he thought that she blamed him. Had she ever done that? She wasn't sure, but if anyone was to blame for the whole incident, it was *her*. *She* was the one who should feel guilty, and so she did. Only she had a feeling she wasn't alone about that...   
  
Hours later, she was beginning to get terribly restless. An itching feeling forced her to get up from the bed to start pacing on the small cabin floor. She grew tired of that pretty quickly though, and as her watch showed that it wasn't even midnight, she made a decision. People wouldn't leave the bars in yet another couple of hours, so no one would notice if she took a small walk, would they?   
  
She opened the door ajar and peered outside. The corridor lay quiet and peaceful before her, and she closed the door behind her and slowly began to walk down it.  
  
She didn't really have a goal with her stroll. Her thoughts far away, she just let her feet carry her wherever they wanted, and she was startled as she realised that she was heading towards Mulder's quarters. At first, she stopped dead in her tracks, wanting to turn around and run, but a tiny part of her heart wanted to keep going, to get closer to him, and after a small mental battle, that part won.   
  
She silently stepped closer to his door, holding her breath while listening after each step. She could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, but even though she was scared that someone would open the door and see her, there was no way she could back off now. She reached his door and stopped outside it. She carefully put her ear against it. At first, it seemed all quiet, but soon, she thought that she could distinguish the muffled sound of someone sleeping.  
  
Until she realised what it was. Someone was crying. Scully had never felt more helpless in her entire life. Hearing his heart-broken sobs, and knowing that she was the cause to them, was more than she could stand. She felt her knees buckle underneath her, and let her body weakly slide down to the floor. Her back supported by his door, she put her head in her hands and cried as well.   
  
*~*   
  
(part 20)  
  
Mulder wearily walked the last steps up to Skinner's small office. He felt as if he was on autopilot, as if everything he did, every motion, was something that had been programmed into him long ago, like he was automated. In a way, he was - he felt as if nothing mattered to him anymore. His whole world was falling apart anyway.   
  
It was early in the morning, and only twenty-four hours until they'd reach Lisbon. And then he could forget about this whole misery.   
  
Yeah.  
  
Right.  
  
As if he ever could. He'd be haunted by certain memories forever, and not the pleasant ones... He tried to shake the uncomfortable feeling off of him, but he could already see the nightmares before him. She'd yell at him in anger. She'd plea for his help, but he wouldn't be able to reach her. She'd disappear in the horizon, and he'd be unable to ever get her back. She'd haunt him. She. Scully.  
  
Mulder stopped outside the office and leant against the wall. He closed his eyes, desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to escape him. He forced himself to take deep, calm breaths, until he felt his pulse going back to normal again. He could do this. He could.   
  
He'd made up his mind during the previous night, after he'd practically run into Scully outside that dining room. Grafton had persuaded him to go have something to eat, and as he'd left to do so, it'd been the first time in approximately 30 hours that he'd left the safety of the cabin. He'd been aware that there was the possibility of meeting her, yes. He'd been looking around as he walked, almost *hoping* that he'd catch a glimpse of her, yes. But he hadn't been prepared of turning around a corner and literally bump into her.   
  
He'd been shocked, almost paralysed. He hadn't dared looking at her, but yet, his eyes just couldn't leave her. And when she'd raised her eyes to meet his...  
  
It was as if nothing had ever happened between them. Her eyes had spoken of love, and he knew that his had shown the same. Love. Trust. Respect. But then he'd remembered. Remembered that she wasn't his anymore. She wasn't even his partner any longer... And he'd felt all the guilt once again wash over him, and he couldn't bear to look at her anymore. He'd made a quick decision, and everything but flew away from her. They'd both be safer that way. It'd be best for her if she didn't have to meet him anymore. It'd be the best for them both.   
  
He still kept telling himself that as he knocked on the door to Skinner's office. At the muffled reply, he stepped inside and sat down in the empty chair Skinner motioned towards.   
  
"Agent Mulder", Skinner greeted him, and Mulder suspected that he'd been waiting for him.   
  
"Sir", Mulder said, making a short pause before he continued. "I've had some thinking, and... I've made up my mind. I'm going."   
  
Skinner nodded, but a slight frown of surprise betrayed his otherwise unreadable expression. "And what about Agent Scully?" Skinner asked.   
  
"She agrees that it's the best thing to do", Mulder replied, remembering their argument all too well. Hearing her saying that had been one of the things that had got him really mad, and now, two days later, he was sitting here saying exactly the same thing. The motives were a bit different though, but still, it was ironic.   
  
"Well", Skinner said, seemingly relieved, "in that case, I wish you good luck." He stood up. "If you drop in here tomorrow morning before we reach Lisbon, I'll inform you further about the arrangements. I don't know every detail though - it's safer that way."   
  
Mulder nodded, standing up to leave.   
  
"And Mulder", Skinner called out as he was about to open the door, making the younger man turn around once more. "You've been a hell of a good agent", Skinner said.  
  
Mulder nodded, before he once again reached for the doorknob and disappeared out into the corridor.   
  
Skinner stared at the closed door. He had no idea what had changed the younger agent's mind so drastically and made him accept his offer - it was very unlike Mulder. There'd been something different in his gaze, and his whole posture, but he didn't know what, or who had caused it. He sighed. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't know everything.  
  
As Mulder walked away, he knew that he should feel good, that he'd done the right thing. For once in his life, he mused sarcastically. He'd done as Skinner had suggested, he'd done as Scully had thought best. Everything by the book.  
  
So why did he feel like he'd left his heart in there?  
  
*~*   
  
(part 21)   
  
It was early in the evening.   
  
It was early in the evening, and less than a day until they'd reach Lisbon and Mulder would be gone forever.   
  
The realisation was like the cruellest torture, which Scully couldn't escape. She deserved it of course, she kept telling herself, but yet, a small part of her was protesting wildly - she was giving up without even fighting! Or not only a small part - her whole being, if she really considered it.   
  
Which she did, of course. She'd had way too much time to think lately, and it was starting to eat her up. And the more she thought of what she knew was inevitable, the more desperate she grew.  
  
She couldn't let it happen! How could she go on without him? She didn't care about who'd been right or wrong anymore, or that she'd been so angry with him. She didn't care about logical reasoning, or the Consortium. She didn't care about all the mean things he'd hurled into her face... She just knew that she couldn't lose him.   
  
No way. There was no way she could go on, having lost her partner, her best and *only* friend, the only person she'd ever truly loved, and remain sane. No way in hell. And the worst thing of all was that she'd insisted upon it! She'd been thinking of his own best, yes, but when it all came down to it... she just couldn't let it happen. He'd grown to be a part of her, and she just wasn't whole without him.   
  
And as soon as she'd come to that conclusion, she felt even more helpless, because that was exactly what was going to happen and she couldn't do anything to prevent it.   
  
Unless...   
  
She flew up from her position on top of her bed. Suddenly the choice was so very easy to make. She couldn't afford to lose another minute, so she left the cabin and hurried towards his quarters as soon as she could.  
  
She took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. Her heart was beating wildly as she waited for someone to open. As the seconds passed by without any reply, she tried to open the door. She cursed for herself as she found it locked.   
  
Her head was spinning, as she fought to think logically. Where could he be? He wouldn't be attending the party upstairs, would he? It wasn't likely. Could he be outside, on the deck? Suddenly, it hit her. If he was ever so slightly as distressed about this as she was, he'd spend this last evening dwelling in memories. At the rail, at the stern of the ship.   
  
She turned around and hurried towards the closest staircase.   
  
*~*   
  
(part 22)  
  
The weather was changing. He could tell by the way the wind was freshening around him, and the way the waves deep down under him seemed to slowly grow in size and strength. The sun was still lingering at the horizon, refusing to give away anything of what it knew was coming, and the beautiful picture of all the elements together didn't seem any different than it had been for the last couple of days. But changes were to come. Soon. He knew it.   
  
He sighed as he contemplated this strange kind of premonition he seemed to have got. Changes, yeah. He didn't know the details of what his surroundings seemed to be trying to tell him about, but he had a feeling they weren't anything to look forward to... It was the last evening aboard Aurora, before they'd reach Portugal and he'd be flown to Germany head over heels to get under cover.  
  
It'd be years and probably even more years until he'd get an occasion to see Scully again. Maybe it was good for her, yes. Maybe she'd get what she wanted. But in critical situations, the human being thinks just as egocentric as any primitive animal, and to Fox Mulder, this *was* a critical situation. Because he was losing her.   
  
He couldn't let it happen. He didn't care about anything except that. He'd been so close to lose her to God knew what so many times before... Why hadn't they backed off while they still had the chance? Why had they been so damn stubborn not to admit their feelings until it was too late?  
  
But there was nothing he could do now, was there? No matter how hard he grieved, how madly in love with her he was, they couldn't fight against fate. Fate had been trying to separate them a million of times before, only he'd refused to believe it until now. Maybe that was what Scully had been trying to tell him.   
  
He leaned back against the white wall that served as support for his back, where he was sitting on the floor, looking out over the sea. His gun clattered softly as it touched the floor, and for a short moment, he considered how easily it would be to just put himself out of the misery. But those thoughts quickly disappeared, and he chuckled quietly. Everything seemed so hopeless, so why couldn't he just suffer a little longer? Changes indeed did not look good.  
  
He closed his eyes, but in the next instant jerked them open again, as the sound of quick footsteps caught his attention. Scully's, he recognised even before she came into view.   
  
By that time, however, she'd slowed down, and was now walking towards him with careful, hesitating steps. He didn't look up at her, but in the corner of his eye, he could see every little detail of her. Just the feel of her presence made him hold his breath for a second, as all his repressed feelings for her bubbled into life inside his chest again...   
  
She stopped a few feet away from him. Not daring to look at her, Mulder kept his gaze down. Until she spoke.   
  
"May I sit down?" she asked, her voice so soft and gentle that he wanted to cry just by hearing it. It'd been way too long since he'd heard her talk to him, especially in that tone.   
  
He finally gathered enough courage to look up at her and meet her gaze. What he saw there shocked him. Her eyes, more blue than ever, was holding so many feelings, and she was showing them all. Trust and affection. Hurt, but also vulnerability and a plea for apology. Forgiveness. And so very, very much love.  
  
"Of course", he managed to choke out, surprised that his voice had worked at all.   
  
They looked at each other for a moment, and he knew that she could read his eyes just like he'd read hers. For that he was glad. The least thing he wanted now was to deny anything more.   
  
She slowly sat down beside him, careful to keep some space between them. It hurt him, but he understood that it was necessary. If he'd be able to deal with whatever was to come, he probably needed the space himself too.   
  
Changes were indeed to come.  
  
*~*  
  
(part 23)  
  
They both remained silent for a long while, just staring out over the ocean behind them. Mulder had no idea how long they were just sitting like that, but after a while, he noticed clouds gradually starting to invade the earlier clear evening sky.   
  
Not until the first few raindrops started to fall, Scully turned towards him. "Mulder, I... I've made up my mind..." she started, but paused to hesitantly reach for his hand.   
  
The feeling of her fingers closing over his own was at first overwhelming, but yet, it felt so very good. Once they'd touched, it felt like another barrier between them had been torn down, and her small hand fitted in his bigger almost as if they'd been designed for each other. As he met her eyes, Mulder couldn't help but let the corners of his mouth tilt upwards in a brief smile.   
  
The joy he felt as she returned it was indescribable. He leaned forward, bringing his face close to hers. "Don't..." he whispered, "don't talk just yet..."   
  
And then he let his mouth lightly touch hers.   
  
Suddenly, they were replaying their first kiss. It was the same place, even though they were now sitting down instead of standing, and the feelings were just the same. Their love was just as strong - wounded, but already starting to heal. These last few days had only made it even more powerful.   
  
As they pulled back, Mulder grinned at her. It was raining more heavily now, and her damp hair had turned into loose curls, framing her face. Her baby blue eyes carried a flame of desire, which he hadn't seen in a way too long time. He reached out to let his fingers lightly trace her cheekbone, and she closed her other hand over his.   
  
Their eyes locked.   
  
And at that moment, Scully knew that what she'd originally planned to say would have to wait. The words of apology and explanation she'd thought up had long ago escaped her head, and even the decision she'd made seemed irrelevant for the moment. "I want you, Mulder", she whispered. "Make love to me."   
  
She watched as Mulder's eyes once again mirrored her own feelings. He smiled at her. "I'd love to, Scully", he said, "but..." he looked up into the sky, "it seems like it's raining..."   
  
Scully couldn't help but laugh at his comment. She tilted her head to look up into the downpour herself. "Yeah, it seems so..." she replied. She raised an eyebrow at him. "So?"   
  
Now it was Mulder's turn to laugh. He looked around them and was delighted as his eyes caught sight of something that gave him a brilliant idea. "So I've got a better idea..." he said, his eyes twinkling mischievously.   
  
"What?" Scully asked, reluctantly letting him drag her up. "Mulder...?" She recognised that gaze of his.   
  
What on earth was he up to now? He leaned down to kiss her again. As they pulled apart, Mulder lightly pulled at her hand. "Come on, it's raining", he whispered into her ear.   
  
Still holding hands, they ran across the floor of the stern, towards Mulder's apparent goal.   
  
A lifeboat.   
  
"In *here*?" Scully asked disbelieving, her lips tilted upwards in an amused smile, as she watched Mulder lifting up a corner of the tarpaulin covering the small boat, for her.   
  
He peered inside it, and was delighted at what was lying in the far corner of the boat. "Hey, Scully", he said, "it's even got blankets!"   
  
He was smiling broadly as he turned to her. "After you", he said, gesturing gentlemanly.   
  
They were both startled as the bang of an approaching thunderstorm emphasised his words.  
  
Scully looked up into the sky, to see that it had turned a dark shade of violet.  
  
"Yeah... let's hurry up", she said, not bothering about the dry comment she'd been about flash him anymore.   
  
She climbed into the lifeboat, then held the tarpaulin for Mulder as he climbed in after her. When he reached the blankets, she let go of it to crouch down beside him, leaving them both surrounded by complete darkness.   
  
The thunder was roaring outside, and the rain tapped furiously on the tarpaulin, but the lifeboat was all dry. Scully could hear Mulder working beside her, and she assumed that he was making the boat more comfortable for them by spreading the blanket on its floor. Her suspicions were confirmed as she heard him sigh contentedly, and in the next instant pulled her down to him.   
  
She landed on top of him, and even though neither of them could see the other, their lips soon found one another, as they once again lost themselves in the moment.   
  
And even though it was pitch dark around them, she could feel his eyes burning into hers as they pulled apart. She swallowed hard to stop the tears that once again welled up in her eyes, and she felt her heart contract. "Mulder, I love you", she whispered, burying her face into the hollow of his neck. "And I'm so sorry..."   
  
"Hey", he said softly, and she felt his hand coming around to stroke her hair, "I'm so very sorry too. I didn't mean all those things I said."   
  
Scully nodded, even though she knew that he couldn't see the gesture.  
  
"I know you didn't", she assured him, "and neither did I."   
  
She felt his fingertips lightly caress her cheek, and she could almost picture his light frown as he traced the trail of tears that'd escaped her eye.  
  
"Don't cry", he whispered, lightly kissing the tears away. She smiled at him.   
  
"I won't", she said, "not anymore."   
  
She snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest. Her last conscious memory, as she let the steady rhythm of his heartbeat rock her to sleep, was his arms holding her even closer.   
  
*~*   
  
(part 24)  
  
He woke up with the distinct feeling that something was missing. Light peered in through a small hole in what he assumed was the ceiling, and for a brief second, he wondered where he was. But then he remembered the night before, and with that, also why it felt so empty.   
  
It was Scully. Or rather, the absence of her. Where was she? Panic instantly clutched at his heart - had she regretted what had happened? Had she left him - *again*? No. He couldn't believe that, he *refused* to believe that. Yet, the betrayals and blames by those he'd once loved had created an insecurity, which he'd carried with him all the way since childhood. He'd learned to trust no one, and he hadn't - until he'd met Scully. He didn't know how she did it, but somehow, she'd ever so slowly started to pull at his impenetrable walls, tearing them down. And he'd let her.   
  
So God, he wanted to trust her. So very badly, but in a small part of his mind, the insecurity was still ruling. And with those last few days... he just couldn't push it away. He needed to see it for himself, whatever the outcome was. Taking a deep breath and bracing himself for the worst, he rose to open the tarpaulin.   
  
At first, he couldn't see a thing in the bright morning light, but as soon as his eyes had adjusted to the light, he turned his head around to look for her. As he didn't see her immediately, he jumped out of the boat, to head towards the closest entrance. But before he got there, he heard her voice calling out his name.   
  
"Mulder!" she called out, and he spun around, to find her sitting on a bench a few feet away.   
  
He felt a flood of relief wash over him. "Scully, what are you doing here?" he asked. "I didn't mean to drive you out of bed..."   
  
That coaxed a smile from her lips.  
  
"I just didn't want to wake you up", she explained.   
  
She rose up. "Are you joining me for a walk?" she asked.   
  
Sensing that she had something more than simply that in mind, Mulder nodded. "Sure", he replied, hoping that whatever was to come, was something good.  
  
They slowly strolled in silence along the side of the ship; close, but without touching. As they reached the stem, Scully stopped to look out over the wonderful panorama before them.   
  
In the early hour, the sun wasn't visible yet, but the sky before them held the promise of a soon emergence. The ship was holding the direction right at east, and the sea lay smooth as a mirror before it. Above the sea was the sky shining, carrying the colour of brightest red.   
  
Mulder stopped beside her, and for a moment, they both remained silent, just watching the scenario before them in awe. At last, Scully spoke.  
  
"Mulder" she said turning to look him straight in the eyes, "I've been thinking a lot these few days... About what I said, about what we both said."   
  
Mulder nodded, his face taking on a grim expression as he recalled it all too well himself.   
  
"Every time, I came down to the same conclusion", she continued. "How very wrong I was."   
  
He was about to protest, to take the guilt away from her, but she silenced him by gently placing her hand on his upper arm.   
  
"Mulder, I need you", she said. "And I can't live without you. I'd follow you to the end of the world, and if that means moving to Germany, I'm willing to do so. As long as I'm with you, I'll always be safe."   
  
She reached up to smooth a strand of hair away from his forehead. "Mulder, I'm coming with you to Germany."  
  
*~*   
  
(part 25)  
  
Mulder could only stare at her. As her words slowly sank in, he found it impossible to fight back the huge grin that spread across his whole countenance.   
  
Scully's lips tilted upwards to match his grin, and he bent down to touch his mouth to hers. Their lips and tongues met in a soft kiss; a kiss full of care, understanding, passion, and true, utter love.   
  
As they eventually pulled apart, Mulder was still smiling. "I love you so much, Scully", he told her. "And nothing in the world could ever have made me happier than hearing you say this."  
  
He looked out over the ocean for a moment, before turning back to her. "However", he continued, "there *is* another alternative. But of course, only if you want to."  
  
"What?" Scully asked, her eyes showing her question, but also her utter confidence in him. He drew a deep breath before he spoke again. "We could quit the X-Files", he said. Leave the Bureau and the whole conspiracy behind us - if we're not a threat anymore, They won't have a reason to harm us either. We could be a public couple, buy a big house with plenty of room for bringing up children..."   
  
He searched her eyes for an answer, and was almost overwhelmed by all the love he saw in them.   
  
"Are you sure you could do that, Mulder?" she asked him. Then she smiled. "Quit the X-Files, I mean. It's been everything for you. Could you really give it up just for me... for us? Your search for your sister, and for the Truth? I don't want to feel like I made you give all that up."  
  
Mulder felt his heart contract with affection. "I'll never give up my search for Samantha", he told her, "but I won't find her without you. One day we'll find her, and I don't need the X-Files to do so. And regarding the Truth... I've already found the Truth, Scully. I've found it in you."   
  
She felt tears filling her eyes, and she made an unsuccessful attempt to hold them back. "In that case", she told him, "I have no objection."   
  
They shared another smile, before once again losing themselves in a lazy kiss.   
  
As they pulled apart, Mulder grabbed both her hands and brought them to his lips to kiss her knuckles. "I still have one question left though", he told her.   
  
"Okay?" she asked, her brow furrowed. He closed his eyes to try to stop himself from shaking. As he opened them again, she was looking at him intently. "Scully... Dana", he said, "will you marry me?"   
  
He watched as the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen spread across her countenance, and her eyes were glittering as she replied.  
  
"There's nothing I'd rather do", she said. She stood up on tip- toe, and placed her arms around his neck, bringing her face close to his.   
  
"I love you, Mulder", she whispered. "And I love you back", was his response, just before he captured her sweet lips in the most magic of kisses.   
  
It seemed like an eternity before they eventually pulled apart to catch their breaths.   
  
Scully threw a hasty glance out over the ocean, and the sight that met her was absolutely stunning. The sun was just spreading its first rays of light over the horizon, and the whole sky seemed to be on fire; glowing in every possible shade of orange and red colours, highlighted by a few streaks of gold.   
  
"Mulder, just *look* at this", Scully exclaimed. "This must be the most wonderful place in the world!"  
  
Mulder turned his head to follow her gaze out over the fabulous scenario playing before them. "It's stunning", he agreed. "And this must be the most wonderful moment in my life", he added softly, once again turning to look at her.  
  
His eyes locked with hers once again, and for a moment, he thought he'd forever be lost in their depth. Then he turned to look out over the ocean again. "Aurora", he said slowly, as if carefully tasting the word, "it means 'the red sky at dawn'."   
  
"You know..." Scully said, "this really *is* a ship of dreams."   
  
Mulder grinned at her, feeling luckier than he'd ever been in his whole life. "Who said it wasn't?" She raised an eyebrow at him, just before he scooped her up in his arms to kiss her again. And they were going to survive. In every possible way.   
  
*~*~*THE END*~*~*   
(part 26 - Epilogue)  
  
The white limestone cliffs were glittering in the sun, as Aurora rapidly approached the coast of Portugal. After having spoken to Skinner, Mulder and Scully had once again climbed the stairs up to the stem, to watch the approach of the exotic country from the best view.   
  
Skinner had followed them up on the deck, which had already been filled with other agents who were curious about the destination of the trip.   
  
He threw a glance at the couple. He'd been surprised, he had to admit, as they'd told him about their change of plans. Surprised, but not the least begrudging.   
  
He suspected that all their case reports didn't tell half of what they'd been through, but he'd understood that they'd have to walk through hell a million of times. They certainly deserved this happiness.   
  
He couldn't help but smile.   
  
Their usually unconventional methods, together with two bright minds, had managed to put clarity into so many of the unsolved mysteries known as the X-Files. Why would they be any different now? They'd found their own solution to the hardest task they'd ever had. To separate.   
  
Through the years, he'd seen them grow as close as two people could ever be, and he'd been agonising over what he'd had to do to them. Still, it'd been the best he could do... but leave it to them to find an even better way.   
  
The Consortium would be powerless, since they would no longer be a danger to them. The Bureau's policy on partnership would no longer affect them, and since they, for once in their lives, were doing everything by the book, he had no objections whatsoever about this new development!  
  
In fact, he was glad for them. Very glad. Despite the numerous times he'd been mad at them, he was still very fond of them. And now, when he didn't have to be their superior anymore, he was certain they'd get an even better friendship.   
  
He watched as Mulder bent down to whisper something to his partner - and now also fiance - and then they smiled at each other and reached for each other's hands.   
  
Yes, he certainly couldn't have got any better news. He turned his head to watch some seagulls play at the side of the ship. It was going to be a beautiful day.   
  
*~*End of Epilogue*~*   



End file.
